


Idolatry

by whythokylo (OpalElephant)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: F/M, dubcon, will become nsfw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2016-01-02
Packaged: 2018-05-07 22:31:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5472947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpalElephant/pseuds/whythokylo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren can't stop thinking about the girl who bested him. Currently a oneshot with plans to continue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: It's extremely likely that the upcoming chapters of this fic will contain dubcon, so if you are squicked by such content please give this a miss. I claim no ownership of these characters.

The Force is drawn to her, and so is he.

It bends and flows around and through her, this wisp of girl, and Kylo Ren can't imagine how he didn't sense it immediately - it is impossible to ignore. She is impossible to ignore.

She stands tall, spine straight, and like lightning he strikes. But no matter his power and will she remains unbent and unbroken, absorbing his fury and throwing it back in his face.

His defeat by her hand is both humiliating and something close to orgasmic, and he nurses his wounds along with his newfound obsession after Starkiller implodes.

His Master sees everything, knows everything, and Kylo Ren doesn't even attempt to hide the burning desire in his heart from him. Truth be told, he yearns for his Master's guidance on the subject; he's never wanted another being before, not like this, and his thoughts swirl endlessly with glimpses of her face and echoes of her voice. It’s maddening.

Finally Snoke comments, after a particularly long training session: “The girl is driving you to distraction. Have you meditated on a solution?”

Kylo Ren swallows and bites back the pissy retort that bubbles up his throat. Of course he has. He's done nothing but meditate on her since they met, tried in vain to banish her ghost and find some measure of peace. 

This morning he'd awoken with her name on his lips and his body aflame, his loathing and need curling his fingers in the sheets lest he start groping at himself like a teenager.

“Yes, Master,” he replies, “I apologize for my lack of discipline.”

Snoke hums, and Kylo Ren bows his head. 

“And what conclusion have you come to?”

“I must complete my training and fulfill my destiny,” the prince recites, “nothing else matters.”

His Master rises to his feet, and Kylo Ren closes his eyes; whatever punishment he receives for his weakness he has earned. But instead, Snoke lays his hand upon his shoulder and speaks.

“And have you not considered that the girl may be a part of that destiny?”

He can't help it - his head snaps up, and the bony grip on his shoulder tightens.

“The Force has chosen you,” Snoke says, “but it has chosen her as well. She can be your bitterest foe - or your greatest ally.”

Kylo Ren stares straight ahead, unable to even breathe. His whole world has narrowed down to this moment.

“There is no reason to deny yourself,” his Master croons. “In your heart you know she belongs at your side. You are strong divided, but joined…”

Kylo Ren can see it, the future he dreamt about as he fought his way through rivals, republic scum, and his own demons: the Empire restored to its former glory, its banners strung up by his own two hands. A new academy established where he can nurture the next generation of peacekeepers. A galaxy united at long last.

“Yes,” Snoke murmurs, watching his vision play out, “and who will lead that new generation? Would you not see one of your own blood take the helm? Will your family line end with you?”

And then he feels the cold, probing feelers of Snoke’s power delve into the scenes he kept most private, most hidden, now laid shamefully bare - a home, beautifully appointed with trophies and badges of honor. His dragon's hoard where he jealously guards his greatest treasure, the girl - whose title was now wife. 

And at her breast a dark-haired babe, brimming with incredible power and potential.

His Master cackles outright, and Kylo Ren flushes hard.

“She will not have me.”

The grip on his shoulder disappears as his Master leaves his mind, and his arm twinges as the blood rushes back in. Snoke slowly alights on his throne, casting a withering glance at his disciple. 

“Have I taught you nothing of persuasion, boy?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: this is a mini update while I edit the bigger one. Thank you so much for your kind words and kudos.

_ I feel it too _ .

 

Rey lurches out of a deep sleep, gasping and damp with sweat. The others she bunks with stopped commenting on her nightly disruptions long ago; now she simply wakes, his name on the tip of her tongue, and hugs her knees to her chest. Night after night after night.

 

_ He's a monster _ , she reminds herself, screwing her eyes shut. As if that will dispel the feeling of his mind touching hers, surprisingly gentle and warm. As if she could forget the look in those dark, hooded eyes as he set his mouth inches from her neck and purred.

 

_ So lonely. _

 

She isn't lonely anymore, surrounded by friends and mentors, every one a hero and a fighter. Her days are full of love and laughter - it's a night that he stalks her, reminds her that he's still out there somewhere, and she has something that he wants. 

  
_ I can show you _ ...


	3. Chapter 3

Considering his past successes with persuasion, Kylo Ren decides to rethink his strategy a bit.

 

_ I can take whatever I want _ , he'd said to her, and until that day it had been the truth. Then she'd gone and invaded  _ his _ mind instead.

 

Abducting her would only go so far; it won't be as easy as a wave of his hand this time. She'll fight him, and it both delights and disgusts him to think she might win too. 

 

He can capture her, but he'll never keep her. 

 

Alone in his quarters he ponders his options; across from him, always in his direct line of sight, rests the twisted mask of Darth Vader. His own mask is beside him, forgotten for the moment. As he stares into the hollow eye sockets he tries to guess what his grandfather would do in his place. 

 

Kill her, most likely.

 

So instead he turns inward, running a spectral hand over the harp strings of the Force within him. It thrums in response, and there he feels the bonds he's forged, some willing, others not.

 

_ Abandon all attachments to your old life _ , his Master had once told him.  _ Cast off the yoke of Ben Solo _ . 

 

And oh, he tried. He's still trying. But how can he when the reason for rejecting his old identity is rooted in it? Ben Solo is the one with Vader's blood in his veins.

 

It's sentimental of him, and tomorrow he'll stop, surely - but for today he lingers on the sorrowful plucking of his mother and the occasional strumming of his former teacher.  Han Solo used to linger here too, before...before.

 

And now the girl joins in: he can feel her, barely, but constantly. She plays a tinny melody on the silken threads, straight to where his consciousness is curled at the center, straining to listen. He picks at the frail bond they've forged, claws at it in more heated moments, hoping to incite a response. There's no indication she hears him.

 

He lets his eyes slide shut and rests the bridge of his nose on his steepled fingers. Trying to focus on  _ where _ she is yields nothing; he only knows that she  _ is _ . It's enough, but not for long.

 

Ever since his Master endorsed his dark fantasies she's become the focus of his every waking thought, worse than before. It's unsurprising - Ren has a tendency to fixate. His uncle had praised him for his dedication once upon a time, until it became apparent that the drive to succeed was quickly turning into ruthlessness. 

 

_ So be ruthless _ , he can hear Snoke say, a brittle encouraging whisper.

 

He's not blind; of course his Master has his own reasons for wanting Kylo Ren to claim the girl. But why should he balk when their designs for her are so closely aligned? 

 

If only she understood, if only she saw what he did! She feared the Dark because she didn't understand it. He could lead her, if she'd just  _ let him _ . 

 

_ How dare she _ . Suddenly he's seething, leather creaking as his hands clench under his chin. How dare she reject his offer to guide her through the beauty and horror of their shared talent? It had been snarled in her face as he bore down on her with his lightsaber, yes, but he'd been sincere. 

 

He sucks in a deep breath through his nose and splays his fingers over his jaw, and his thumb grazes the scar the girl gave him in response. Kylo Ren knows Hux had purposefully delayed in administering healing gel to the wound, although the man couldn't have realized the shuddery thrill it gives Ren each time he sees it.

 

He wonders if she carries any marks from their last encounter, and his jaw flexes as he bites the inside of his cheek until it bleeds. 

 

With the tip of his finger he traces the length of her parting gift and imagines it's her touching him, admiring her handiwork, leaning in to press her lips to it. He can almost feel her smiling against his cheek, and it makes the hair on his neck stand on end.

 

Just like that temper is soothed, melted and pooling low in his gut. It's thick and muddy like magma in his veins, turning him languid, hungry. With effort he pushes it down; such things are best saved for later, after he has her, after she's awakened to the possibilities.

 

Ren’s communicator lights up a split second before beeping for attention, a summons to the bridge. Apparently a recent scouting mission had yeilded results - the location of a resistance outpost.

 

And then his mouth tilts into a lopsided grin as finally fate guides his hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: thank you a thousand times over for your reviews and kudos. I'll keep trying to deserve them.


	4. Chapter 4

Rey is starting to think she might be losing it. 

 

She's been to the med bay, three times in fact: physically there's nothing wrong with her. It's truly all in her head. 

 

_ Kylo Ren _ is in her head, and she can't get him to leave.

 

She practically begged Master Skywalker to block him out, use a mind trick, anything! - and with a somber look he'd explained that he has sworn off meddling with the minds of others. His counsel is to stay and meditate with him, to find the strength within herself to break the tether. 

 

She tries, but focus and calm elude her. Her frustration grows, and with it her anger, which Luke is quick to warn her against.

 

But Rey can't see any way she can spare more precious time hiding here, practicing breathing techniques. There's a war on, there's a whole galaxy to explore and save, and frankly she's spent nearly her entire life sitting in one spot, waiting. If ever there comes a time she's ready to do so again, it isn't now. 

 

She's not proud of the way she phrased this to him though, and plans another trip to apologize soon. 

 

Master Luke simply nodded his understanding and told her to hang on to the old lighsaber before her departure. “It's not mine, and never really was,” he sighed. “May it protect you until you are ready to construct your own. Just...mind your hands.”

 

Truthfully she's a little afraid of the thing, and not especially adept with swords in the first place. Maybe the Force will help her out again like last time, she thinks. She hopes.

 

_ I can show you... _

 

Upon returning to base she has a hushed, slightly awkward conversation with Poe, and despite their shared experience with  _ him _ she is unique in this. The dreams, the occasional echoes of his thoughts, the gnawing sense of urgency she sometimes feels - as though there's a blast door in her brain, and something is scraping its nails over it. 

 

“Lucky you,” Poe says with a lopsided grin that doesn't reach his eyes.

 

In a way it's a relief when the alert rings out:  _ the First Order has captured one of their outposts, and would Rey please report to the war room immediately _ . He's made his move at last.

 

General Organa is sitting, mouth drawn in a taut line when Rey arrives. In her usual straightforward manner she cuts right to the chase.

 

“They are demanding we send you as our negotiator.”

 

There's no need to specify  _ who _ , and as for  _ why _ , well, there's a number of reasons Rey can think of. She resisted his interrogation. She refused his offer to teach her. She defeated him, and carved up his pretty face while she was at it.  She's still wearing his exalted grandfather's lightsaber on her belt.  As always, she can only wonder  _ what _ .

 

_ What do you want from me, Kylo Ren _ ?

 

“I'm not ready,” Rey admits, ashamed. It was selfish to wait to fine tune her abilities after all, it seems.

 

General Organa looks tired, more so than Rey’s ever seen before. “I know. But they have made it clear they will accept no one else, and as much as I hate to admit it...we can't afford to lose that outpost.”

 

They won't send her alone, the General assures her, and it's actually flattering how much backup they intend to send to protect her.

 

Still, she knows that if he wants her, there's very little anyone can do to stop him from getting her - except herself.

 

_ What the  _ **_hell_ ** _ do you want from me? _

 

That night she decides to try something she hadn't considered before: asking him directly.

 

It's there, of course, the scratching at the door deep inside. Rey visualizes it, then herself, walking up to it, placing her palm on it. 

 

The scratching stops.

  
And light years away Kylo Ren sits bolt upright in his bedroll, startling one of his men with the sudden movement. His head swivels to stare, through the visor of his mask, upwards towards the stars.


End file.
